just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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