I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize