there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize