i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
