So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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