if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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