I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
