did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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