i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
