I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize