Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
