I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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