How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
