When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
do herpes really smell.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Randomize
