Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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