This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.