if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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