That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
