so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize