I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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