Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Randomize
