So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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