AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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