Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
