You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
