i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
