i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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