I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
