Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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