Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
