I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize