I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize