i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
there is puke in my bra ... again
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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