she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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