He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
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