Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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