My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
