I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
