he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
