I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i've created a new STD.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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