drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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