i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
