I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
