ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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