dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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