Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
