I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she told me i tasted like america
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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