Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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