It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
