I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
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THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
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He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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