so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
