the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
