I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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