I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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