I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
