At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
